Evolve

IMG_0186Sometimes it’s easier to go with the flow and live by the motto “if you can’t beat ’em join ’em”. Sometimes it’s easier to not care and turn your head away so you don’t have to see the unfolding of an ugly fate chosen by someone you know. Sometimes your biggest regret in life stems from choosing to take the easiest and single person self-filled path to avoid the bumpy crossroads ahead that are filled with noisy traffic.

The small path will be quiet with no obstacles to trip over but when you come to the end of it you will still hear all the noise and see the suffering of those that you left to walk into the traffic alone leaving you with more pain then any skinned knees caused by stumbling down a bumpy road holding someone’s hand. At least they are my own personal biggest regrets that keep reminding me to stay focused on the side of life where you can feel at peace and love from the people you’re sharing the road with.

I chose, many times, to focus on my own situation and how I could make it easier for myself to get from point A to point B instead of reaching out a hand and helping someone else suffering similar pain and memories as I. By disregarding those that loved me and depended on me to share life with them when it was hard I created a distance that started to quickly fill with resentment, anger, judgement, hurt and loneliness. I laid blame on everyone and everything but where it truly lived. The hardest thing for me to do was look into the mirror and see my true self staring back and pointing to all the things filling the space that I placed there by my own deliberate actions. Funny thing was, once I looked myself square in the eyes and cleaned the garbage out of my road as I closed the gap closer to where I belonged, it got easier and I got happier.
There are many different people out there with a past that helped shape them into who they are and will become. We are ever evolving things the same as all things of this earth that are trying to survive and keep who they are alive. Human beings are made up of everything surrounding us, which is why we are so complicated. Too many factors of free will and primal emotion are at war with themselves. In the end there is one thing that has evolved in us that made us different in a dynamic way and it has the ability to destroy us or let us continue to survive depending on which way to choose.
Growing up as child you can’t always choose who you walk the road with so you are subject to whatever they walk into on the roads they chose to go down with you in tow. As we age you start coming to your own crossroads that will start to shape the rest of your life and the others you bring with you.
After walking blindly down many poorly chosen roads that seemed so quick and easy to escape onto, I started feeling the scars of my mistakes which made me start choosing the same road as the person reaching for my hand to share the path because I liked the way I felt when we got to the end of the road………so became the evolving me. There is no shame in making mistakes, there is only shame if you choose not to learn from them because if you don’t then you become extinct with only a dust covered shell left for anyone to find.
We all have things we leave behind us in the shadows and that’s the best place for them, if you choose to go back and get them you are putting an extra burden on your shoulders that will slow you down and tire you out. If it’s not helping you, if it’s no longer relevant to your travels then shed the extra weight so you can stand up taller and walk further. It’s okay not to carry a burden that’s no longer yours by choice.

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Thank you for stopping by. I hope you enjoyed your stay and want to come back. Until then, be safe ----Noellie

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