Shame: A painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong behavior
Sadness: Affected by unhappiness or grief; feelings of sorrow
Anger: A strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or hostility
We have all felt these feeling at some point in our lives for one’s self or another person. None of which are a good feeling or mind set. All three come with a negative force that can tear you down, especially if left to fester. We can feel them individually but in most cases when shame is involved they come as part of a trio, can’t have one without the other, so to speak. When you work through your anger and let it dissolve down the drain of unneeded emotion, the other two will flush away as well and you can move past whatever triggered the trio of feelings.
What happens when you only have the combination of shame and sadness? No anger to justify the others. How do you work through feelings that were not spawned by something you can’t control or move past? I’ve struggled with finding the answer to this question. So far I have come up with this;
Acceptance: Willingness to tolerate a difficult or unpleasant situation.
If it is something you cannot control to start with and it no longer sparks anger in you, then you will have to accept the situation along with the shame and sadness.
It is what it is, simple as that. If you cannot control the cause then don’t let the cause control you.